Monday, January 18, 2010

Some Italian Stallions!

I may be a hot blooded all American rockabilly hot rodder but I like me some red cars with horses from time to time and I can do more than drive a rail in a straight line.

For years I had a history with Ferrari and I was so well known that a certain German mark tried to steal me away from the red horse guys and wanted me to pilot one of them little silver cars.

Here I am running for my good buddy Enzo Ferrari in '57 at Le Mans. My pardner that year was cat named Enzo Gorlomi. He was some sort of stuntman in Italian films but he got on my nerves with this crazy fear of basements he had.

I raced for them again in '62 under the management of Dominick Decocco and my teammate was a dude named Antonio Margheriti (that names has some music in it don't it?)

Funny thing is as I mentioned above the Germans tried real hard to get me to race for them in '62 but the guy they wanted me to share a car with was a creepy goon named Hans Landa. He was a gossipy little twerp with a thing for milk. As pilots go he was decent but I was pretty fond of my Italian buddies and stuck with them.

Ahhh, take out at it's finest!

Some like their italian pizza delivered to their door but I prefer something a little more french!

Hot and fresh...Oh, yeah!

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Dear Rat Rod Rocker #2

Dear Rat Rod Rocker,

Gassers seem to be the new cool. I want to be cool but I can not afford a 55 Chevy or 41 Willys. It appears that no longer matters in todays world and you can make a gasser out of anything.

What would you build one out of?


A Gassy Guy

Dear Sassy Gassy Gay Guy,

What the hell is wrong with you people today trying to figure out what makes a good gasser? Better yet, why are people calling cars that would have never been gassers gassers?

Gassers are easy to figure out, and you can look at books and old mags to see what they were running...

I got news for most of you clowns, you are building 1970's era STREET FREAKS, not GASSERS!

Ah heck, for-git it...let me get in the spirit of todays gasser scene.

Dear Gassy Guy,

A Honda Civic would be great. You could also try and find a Datsun B2000 or a Ford Pinto.

Nothing would say street cred like a Pinto with a big ol 427.

If I were building one I would use a 1959 Cadillac and call it "THE FAT ELVIS" and put that front end up as high as a Deadhead in the parking lot of a Dead concert.

Put ya a 500 pubic inch caddy in it and show the losers in the Willys what fer!

Yours in rat rodding, The Rat Rod Rocker